MARRIAGE

"Marriage was a crucial event for the Apache culture. It was usually arranged by the boy’s parents. When a couple decided to marry, the representative of the man's family bestowed gifts upon the relatives of his intended bride. As soon as the marriage was approved, a wedding ceremony took place. Although the ceremony was not romantic, its processes were unique enough to make the wedding memorable. The wedding ceremony began with carrying a large basin made of buffalo hide to a secluded place. After filling the basin with fresh water, the bride and groom would step into it, holding hands. There they awaited the appearance of both sets of parents, who had to acknowledge the matrimony. After all those rituals, the party walked together to the bride's camp and joined a public dance; this would end this would end the whole wedding ceremony.⁷

After the marriage, the wedded couple developed close bonds between spouses and their in-laws. The husband provided for the wife's relatives and fulfilled their wishes. If the wife died, this life-long relationship would still continue. On the other hand, the man had to treat his parents-in-law with great respects, especially to his mother-in-law. The man could not look at her, speak directly to her, or be in the same room with her at the same time. It was because having direct contact with the mother-in-law was counted as disrespectful. The Apache man also treated his father-in-law with respect. They could only speak to each other in a reserved manner for sometimes. These behaviors toward their parents-in-law were extremely important in Apache society.

The Apache man could have more than one wife. But since not many men were rich enough to support more than one family, such practice was rare. Another reason that polygamy was rare in the Apache culture was that the men did not want to get into trouble of avoiding two mothers-in-law. But such problem could be avoided by marrying sisters.

If a man had more than one wife, each of them and her children would live in a separate wickiup. The husband usually kept his personal belongings in his first wife’s wickiup. Moreover, the first wife was considered as the leader of the other wives; she directed the work of the other women.

Despite the close relationship developed between the couple's families, divorce happened to the Apache culture also. Failure to fulfill the duties of family life was the principal causes of divorce. If the woman wanted to divorce his husband, all she had to do was to throw her husband’s personal belongings outside the house under a tree. If a man want to divorce his wife, he could tell her that he was going hunting and would not return. The divorced man or woman usually remarried immediately. It was because a single adult did not fit into the social and economic pattern of Apache society".⁸